I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
