Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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