she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize