You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
