dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
