I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.