bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is