I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I need moral support for this bender
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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