I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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