No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
