her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
