I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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