You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
