I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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