I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
