Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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