More tranny stories later!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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