I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
