I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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