yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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