I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
