So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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