I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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