nut hugger
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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