i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Randomize
