the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
