I wish I only lived at night.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
