Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
