Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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