I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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