I think I am morally bankrupt
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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