i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
