I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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