I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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