I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
