What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
