Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
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I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
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Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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