Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
