it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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