He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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