I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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