Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
