i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
