So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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