in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize