If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
