go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
