Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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