what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
