The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
