I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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