just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
this will be a night to untag.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Drake has all the answers
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
