do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
