she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
