my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
