Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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