I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize