I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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