I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's just like the Real World with babies
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
