I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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