in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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