So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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