but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
