On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
